In The War...

In the war I had to do some very, very, very, embarressing things for ma' country.

As you can see...,(by the way, do you think this dress makes me look fat?)

Like digging into the sewage system...the enemies sewage system. Just ot see if they had decease or not. Or,pretending to be a german entertainer! (Like in the picture)But there were some good times too.

Like pretending to be General Howard's cousin, Abraham Lincoln.

But the problem was, I wasn't near as tall as Abraham Lincoln, and he tore ma' beard off.

And the time I pretended to be a Russian snow plower in Siberia,I got to run over plenty of Russian terrorists that day!

But the story I can recall the most, is the one on Omaha Beach...

many of you know what Normandy was like! That was WW1, so prepare yourselves, get your popcorn, your soda and open your ears! (Pease turn off all cell phones)

" The boat horns were whistling..., I heard the Captain say from the background, "Get Ready!". The boats docked on the beaches of Normandy.

Just as everyone got off of the boats, THEY EXPLODED! I went under water..., as I saw bullets go through the water into my comrades! Finally my Captain picked me up outa' the water and said, "Let's go Soldier!"

We ran up the beaches of Normandy that day, I finally made it into one of the bunkers, (for those of you who play video games, you know the Medal of Honor games, it's always one man wins the whole war it seems like in those games,well those games are based after me.)I went up to the top of the bunkers where the machine gun nests were,and I shot every last machine gunner on the beach of Normandy!

True, I lost my arms, and tendons were hanging loose..., but we wond the WW1 and 2! Because of your truly!

Of course there were a few other people who helped your truly, but those people have been forgotten because most of them are dead!"

" I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free!..."